Ducks In A Row

I’m super excited today to bring you a guest post from my dear friend, Emily. Emily is a new writer, and I had a lot of fun working with her on this post.

We are modern-day pen pals–emailing each other once a month with updates, thoughts, dreams, desires and encouragements. A couple months ago, Emily mentioned to me that she wanted to start writing more. She told me how excited she was and also how scared and nervous and unsure she was so I said, “Hey! The way you wrote that is really great. Want to turn it into a blog post?” And so she said, “Yes!” And then we worked together to create Ducks in a Row – Emily’s first guest post.

There’s so much goodness here and I actually love the metaphors and illustrations she uses to describe the way she (and often we) relate to God. I hope you enjoy it!

………………………………………………………………..

Ducks In a Row
-Emily Carpenter

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.” (Heb 4:13)

NOTHING. Which means He already knows everything.

I have thoughts–so many thoughts–and dreams that I just hold in my heart. And as often as I have these thoughts, I try to make a plan to bring them to God. Actually, I try to manage God. I hold my cards close, only showing him what I want him to see when I want him to see it. I’m very strategic about the whole thing. Each move is calculated.  I know the whole truth, but how can I show him just the parts that will sell Him?

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.

“I need a business plan,” I think, like I’m approaching a banker about a loan. I need to have my ducks in a row, and each one needs to know what its quack looks and sounds like and when it’s supposed to quack and when it’s supposed to shut up. One duck out of line and the deal is off. Dumb ducks. Have you ever tried to keep ducks in a row? Good luck with that.

I’ve been stuck–without a business plan, without my ducks in a row. I wouldn’t invest in me.

Frankly, I’m a mess. A HOT MESS. Remember, I know the truth. I know my pitfalls and achilles heels. And the enemy knows them too; he reminds me of them often. So I stay stuck, paralyzed even. I have no plan because I can’t sell myself. I don’t believe in me – how can I sell what I don’t believe in?

I sit here, with these thoughts and hopes and dreams, not even allowing myself to acknowledge them as such because a dream is a desire, and a desire is something I should want to pursue, right? That’s what we’re supposed to do isn’t it? “Reach for the stars!” “Go for the gold!” “Knock ’em dead!” We’re not supposed to let our dreams sit. When dreams sit, they die.

But if I shoot for the stars, I could fail! And I can’t fail! I don’t want to fail!  So I don’t. I don’t allow myself to dream so there’s no way I can fail. But what would happen if I did have a dream? But I haven’t figured out my dream.

I can’t bring my dream to God without a plan, right? I have to tell him what to do and how it will work so he can just sign off and then it will be. That’s how it works, right? I tell God what to do?

No – It was never supposed to be my plan! I didn’t create me or put these desires and passions in my heart! I was created with a purpose – God created me with a purpose! And He knew all along what He was doing. I don’t need to approach him with my business plan like a banker. He already has the plan in his possession!

If I decide to keep these hopes and dreams to myself ,not even bringing the conversation to him, then the plan sits, like in a pile of papers on the corner of a  desk getting dusty and smelling musty. God waits for me, in the meantime. He waits for me to want to hear his plan, when I finally realize i’m not the author of the plan.

God is not a banker. He is my father. I am his daughter, his beloved and his creation. I don’t need to convince him to invest in me or believe in me. He already believes in me and has invested in me hugely! The amount? His son. He gave a life for me – his own son’s life! That’s what I’m worth to him! He’s not backing out on me because I’m not good enough; to Him I am MORE than enough!

 

Emily is a wife and mom to three boys. She’s beautiful; she’s insightful, and I’m happy to call her my friend.